Is 'Blog' a Four-Letter Word? Like Shit It Is.

blogs===
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>*shark<

Yup. No way to mistake that. Blogs have jumped the shark. With rapidity, too. Check out those speed lines...

I know it's going to ruin some days, but I'm not here to make friends. So here's the simple truth: blogging's over. It was cute for awhile - 'blogging'. Fun to say, right? 'Blog'. How mother freaking quaint.

Listen. Most internet industry experts credit me with starting the blogging phenomenon or 'bloggenomenon' as people never say. Terrific. Am I proud? Well, yes and no. Do I approve of the cathartic outlet millions of people were desperately seeking and the resulting enhancement of mental welfare? Sure I do. In that regard, I'm sort of a modern day Hippocrates. But of the word 'blog'? Crap no. I never intended for that word to reach the public at large. I wrote it once, by accident. But from that moment on - viral. It couldn't be stopped. The word 'blog' was Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year in 2004. Consider that - I didn't found the pasttime of blogging until three weeks ago, and it was the most impactful term in 2004. Either my facts are substantially off, or shutup.

So what to call it, then? I'm open to suggestions. What about 'weblog'? Or 'blog 2'? What would you say to calling it 'blog', but with a soft 'g', as in 'gentle'? Think about it - we don't have to decide this right now.

Did you know that the most common first word of North American infants is now 'blog'? For sixty-five hundred years - the entirety of the universe - babies' first word was 'mom' or 'dad' or in the rare cases of mutes, ' '. But now it's 'blog'? People - this is a sickness. Nothing short of our children's verbal coming-out party is at stake. Not my children of course, as my wife Sandra is barren, in spite of fertility drug after fertility drug - you know what, not the point.

For the time being, let's just table the term. With today's linking technology, that I invented, one needs not refer to websites at all. We can simply click on a placeholder title. For instance:

puppies in a large, industrial-sized blender

Did I actually link you to a page showing puppies in a blender? Oh, cheese and crackers, people - of course not! That was merely President George W. Bush's personal web page, which we'd all agree is several percentage points less offensive than puppies in a blender. Several.

In the same way, we can omit the word 'blog' and just click on mal-labeled expressions. There's no way that can backfire.