(1) Electrifying the American auto industry(2) Building a space elevator to lower the per-pound cost of reaching geostationary orbit
(3) Vertical farming, enabling plentiful and inexpensive foodstuffs for densely-populated urban areas
(4) Cultural globalization, creating a single, borderless, planetary republic and thereby ending the concept of war
(5) Anything Boy Meets World
But I've learned that the ideas and convictions that people truly believe in are harbored deep inside, often not revealed even to our closest confidants. When we open up our inner-most desires to the ones we love, we initiate a two-way "emotional superhighway", thus inviting the same transparency of personality to flow back to us. "Our day-to-day selves are an artificial coating. We need to break down the same walls we've spent our lives building up," possibly says Dr. Phil McGraw, a Beverly Hills-based psychologist who's making waves not only in clinical health circles, but with a new television program that he hosts and which airs on ABC.
One thing McGraw, 58, and I agree on is the complete ineffectiveness of violence to solve domestic disputes. I often hear "Jesus Christ, I want to punch Dr. Phil right in his [expletive deleted] trachea," or "man that guy could use a kick to the [expletive deleted] sternum". Or sometimes, "I wonder if I could puncture his lung with a stick, like a really sharpened one. [Expletive deleted]." Some people even go as far as asking, "would you be interested in contributing to a fund that aims to drop cinder blocks from an overpass onto Dr. Phil's car while he's in it, not directly injuring him but almost certainly causing him to suffer severe collateral damage?"
Are you sickened? You should be. The timing would have to be so perfect given typical highway speeds.
Call me a gay, but what ever happened to talking things through? I subscribe to the idea that aggression creates rather than solves problems. What will a pitching wedge to the back of Dr. McGraw's knees fix? Maybe his slice! Rim-shot!
No? We got no one working the rim-shot tonight? Got it.
Look, communication is key in any endeavor. Imagine having the ability to reach anyone, at any time, with a message they can't misinterpret. That's why, with Christmas upon us, I recommend giving Motorola SkyTel beepers to the people you care about. While the earliest beepers were really nothing more than simple personal telecommunications devices using satellite-controlled networks, today's beepers are slightly smaller. Some tips for effective beeping:
- set a pre-established list of alphanumeric codes that represent a more developed thought.
"911" might mean "I have an emergency!", whereas "8888?" might ask "Want to build four snowmen side-by-side?". The number "5376616" upside-down reads "GIGGLES" - is there a more concise way to say "you've made me audibly happy"? If there is, I don't know it.
- as soon as receiving a beep (or "one-way transmission" in the Deep South), visit the nearest pay phone to call the person back that beeped you. Remember - if it's long-distance, you may not want to bother.
- these things get great hang-time, so resist the temptation to launch your beeper off the top of a skyscraper, say, the Mellon Bank Center at 1735 Market Street in Philadelphia which has loose security protocol on Thursday nights and is, according to some, a mere stone's throw from the William Penn statue atop City Hall!
I guess maybe avalanche beacons.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment