Some People Think Obama Will "Paint the White House Black", But I Don't Think He'll Do That

A really, really good artist's rendering of the White House after being painted black.
It appears there was some overspray on the trees and bushes.
I think they're coming back Monday to finish the chimney.

It'd be an understatement by an order of magnitude to say the challenges our nation faces are daunting. Any leader staring down the behemoth tasks in our way should get the full support of his constituents. As things stand today, that's just not the case. But the leader we've chosen - Barack Obama - must deal with still more insurmountable adversity. Why? Simply because he's Muslim. And historic though the times may be, the invective spewed leading up to the 2008 election was despicable to say the least. Full of misinformation and blatant ignorance, it spoke poorly of our nation. Superpower, yes. Supercool - not so much. So when people say things like "Obama's going to paint the White House black", I feel it's my place - not as a man, not as the regional manager for Bic's new line of Click Stic® Metallics, but as an American - to speak out.

Let's face it - so many presidencies are judged by the first hundred days in office. A tone is set. Is he sprinting out the gate or meandering passively? Never is this benchmark truer than today. The imminent closing of Guantanamo Bay will present challenges the likes of which we aren't even yet aware. A tattered economy will require such immediate and razor-sharp attention, it could take an entire administration to get right. Do we really think it would send the right message to the American people to focus on aesthetics? It's so far down on his list of priorities, I haven't heard a single pundit even mention it.

They were going to tape the whole thing in one shot,
but there was a My Two Dads marathon on TV Land.

Painting the White House black isn't like you or I freshening up our colonial two-story with a new coat of Behr. At six stories and 55,000 square feet, the residence registers as a landmark in dimension alone. A single laborer, working eight hours a day (allowing fifteen minute breaks every four hours - you can bet OSHA's going to be all over this one!), can cover about 900 square feet of surface area. Exterior paints typically take three coats, especially if you're looking for duration, so triple your labor figures right there. The average paint crew is three Russian men, one of whom will call in sick two days out of the week. We're looking at a three-and-a-half month project.

That's to paint the outside. Would he paint the inside black as well? During wartime? Remains to be seen, but most experts I spoke with hung up on me.

So I pose the question - taxpayer funds or no? It is a private residence, after all. Gosh forbid the next owner wants to paint it white again! I don't know about you, but I've painted a light color over a dark one before - talk about hitting a wall! I think the nation would agree with me - once you go black, it's best never to go back. To white. Paint.

The last radical redecoration of 1600 Pennsy took place under Kennedy. Prior to that? FDR replaced nearly a hundred twenty-five rugs. And installed ramps. Lincoln was the most notable living space architect - it's alleged he kept fabric samples in his breast pocket at all times (forming the origin of the saying "what, are you keeping fabric samples in your breast pocket or something?") Would it be fitting for Obama - raised in militant jihad camps and an integral part of the Weather Underground Organization, at age 8 - to assume the role of First Renovator? This blogger says, "I don't have enough information to decide."

Drive-by media my ass.