It Appears I've Perfected Movie-Making

Mine's just out of frame to the left.

I couldn't sleep last night. I was overpowered by a vision: it was suddenly clear to me how to make the most legendary cinematic experience known to man. And it's surprisingly simple - I have it all mapped out in my head.

• CREATE AN EXCELLENT PLOT All the best movies have really good plots. I'll just put together a story that has a likable main character that the audience roots for. Oh, but there's a catch - he's deeply flawed. Then there are other characters - one's a girl, and the main character has this crazy crush on her. Then, various things happen - some you expect, some you don't. But here's the twist - at the end, there's a twist. All M. Night-like, but far twistier. Basically Citizen Kane's "Rosebud" and Rookie of the Year's "underhanded lob pitch", combined.
  
• GET THE BEST ACTOR This part's important - make sure to get the best actor. See if Tom Hanks is available, otherwise, Duchovny. Might have to first tell him that other big names are involved - which is okay, because once Hanks is on board, those other names will follow. May want to check with legal on this - when you get home, google "the law".
• GET THE HOTTEST AND BEST ACTRESS Sad to say, but in this day and age you'll need a really pretty actress. But she should also be the best at acting. Obvious person - Scarlett Johansson (backup - Diane Lane).
• USE A RENOWNED DIRECTOR I'd do it, but I should be in more of a production capacity. Probably Tarant -- wait wait wait. Duh - Kubrick! That guy made movies people still don't get. Settled. Kubrick. Plus he hasn't made anything in a while - he's probably dying to get back in the game.
  
• UNUSUAL CINEMATOGRAPHY If this movie's going to go down in history, it needs to be shot in some retro-futuristic arthouse style. Look on youtube to see what's considered the grittiest, rawest shooting techniques around. Possible tactics (and this is off the cuff): the whole thing shot in a mirror, or maybe everything's black-and-white except minorities? Or - if Kubrick greenlights it - all the scenes have the boom mic in frame. Sometimes an amateurish look works - maybe have a kid hold the camera? Google "child + behind + camera"; something should pop up right away.
  
• EXCESSIVE BUDGET The biggest-grossing movies have the biggest budgets. Seems overly simple, but no movie with a really ridiculously large budget has ever failed. We could probably get a quarter-billion. Hanks might even throw half in himself, and we'll tie his compensation to total gross sales (this happens all the time).
  
• TOP-SHELF MARKETING Whichever distributor picks it up needs to market it in a way that makes the movie very successful. It's worth spending a lot of money on promotions - this way, more people will know about and then see the movie. It's called "buzzing".
• GET CRITICAL ACCLAIM Hollywood's best movies over the years have one thing in common: they're all well-received by critics. My movie is no exception. Try to get a 98% or higher on Rotten Tomatoes; perfect 100 on Metacritic. This will help ensure the movie's success.
• WIN ALL THE AWARDS The easiest way to be remembered for making a great movie is for that movie to have won the Academy Award for Best Picture. Is a full sweep possible? You have Kubrick directing Hanks with a quarter-billion dollar budget - anything less than a sweep is a failure.
  

Oh my God, this is really going to happen. I can't believe no one's thought of this before. And I'm not even from the industry!